Likability

Likability

Do people like you?
Maybe.
Maybe not.

Do you like anyone?
Maybe.
Maybe not.

Everyone is the lead character in their own lives. No one plays a supporting or second role in their own story.

Everyone is the center of their lives and wants to see things around them in their favor. And there is nothing wrong with it.

That means that everyone likes themselves, and whatever else they like or whoever else they like matches up with something around their lives.

Likability is self-centric.

Anyone likes anyone because some form of need is being fulfilled.

It can be a very kind need or an unkind one. But some need, some wish, or some purpose is being met, giving rise to likability.

• No one likes being beat up.

• No one likes being mistreated.

• No one likes to be ignored.

• No one likes to feel small about themselves.

• No one likes to feel dejected.

On the other hand:

• Everyone likes to feel valued.

• Everyone likes to feel loved.

• Everyone likes to be respected.

• Everyone likes to be cared for.

• Everyone likes to be heard.

• Everyone likes to be centered.

• Everyone likes to feel good about themselves.

• Everyone likes to be nurtured.

• Everyone likes a comfort zone.

Something or the other is always being met before the spark of likability ignites.

And all of it has to be absent, and negative stimulus present, before likability ends, dislike begins, or indifference sets in.

So when we like someone, it’s truly what we like about ourselves in the presence of that likable someone.

No one starts liking someone who has caused them harm. Everyone starts liking someone when that person brings positive influence.

So: I like him. I like her. She likes me. He likes me.

Or even: We love someone, or someone loves us. These are all subjective.

Some pull or push is always working when someone likes or dislikes someone.

People who were once close drift apart when the symbiosis ends or the commensalism stops.

A Personal Example

A few days ago, I went to a restaurant. While enjoying my meal, I met an old man who didn’t know anything about Indian food.

He asked me if I knew what those black ball-like things were and if they were good.

I told him excitedly that those are called gulab jamun. Then he had some more questions.

I took my time to explain each dish in the buffet, the best way to eat it and which items should be packed separately. By the time we were done setting our plates, we were both very pleased to have met.

I felt happy helping the old man relish Indian food for the first time, and he was happy to get authentic recommendations.

A very pleasant experience, indeed, a likable one.

In My Work

Similarly, when I meet patients, all of them are close to my heart. They make me feel fulfilled by allowing me to help them.

However, some patients leave a deep impact through their kind gestures and their trust in care. That trust motivates me to go above and beyond, whether it is possible or not.

While the care remains the same for everyone, such people certainly spark the magic of likability.

The Essence of Likability

That being said, we don’t need to bend ourselves backwards, nor do we need to leave ourselves behind to become someone else to experience likability.

Because people don’t really like you. They like themselves, and how you make them feel.

Stay yourself. Stay kind. Stay positive. Create a genuine aura around you, and the people with the same frequency will resonate. They will enter your circle of likability, because they like themselves, and your presence helps them like themselves even more.

So, be likable or not, just make sure to be yourself, and be kind.

Dr. Jaya Sonkar, MD, MPH
9.11.25
©️ Copyright 2025. Dr. Jaya Sonkar. All rights reserved.

Who Owes Whom?

Who owes whom?

The rain owes the clouds

The clouds owe the sea

The sea owes the rivers

The river owes the rain

The carnivores owe the herbivores

The herbivores owe the grass

The grass owes the soil

The soil owes all animals

The wisdom owes its root to the pain

The pain owes its spark to fun

The fun owes its ease to health and wealth

And health and wealth owe the wisdom

The diamond owes the admirers

The admirers owe the diamond

The lotus owes the mud

The mud owes the lotus

The chicken owes the egg

The egg owes the chicken

The taker owes the giver

The giver owes the taker

The taker can be the giver

The giver can be the taker

What goes around 

Comes around

What rises, falls

What falls, rises

Life is a wave

It rises 

It falls

It rises again

And so on

So who owes whom?

No one owes no one

And everyone owes everyone

Live the life

Full of gratitude

And

Free of Debt

Fly, Rise, Elevate, Lighten, 

Bind, but freely and wilfully

Leave, but with care and love

Live with grace, 

Freely, yet thankfully!

Dr. Jaya Sonkar MD MPH

© Copyright 2025 Dr. Jaya Sonkar. All rights reserved.

8

Impermanence

Impermanence

Everything has a timeline
Everything has a lifeline
Everything has a beginning
Everything has an end

Nothing is here to stay
Nothing is there to last
While things seem to move slow
Within a blink, they go too fast

It’s the sand that will slip
It’s beyond anyone’s grip
It’s the wind that will blow
It’s the water that will flow

It’s the wave that will soar
It’s the rain that will pour
It’s the thunder that will roar
It will see its own door

Know yourself
Prioritize yourself
Love yourself
Cherish yourself

Nothing and no one will
Last forever
The only one to stay till the end
Is you yourself, my dear friend

Know your element and become it
Accomplish your goals
Fulfill your desire
Stay harmless to others
And also yourself!

 By Dr. Jaya Sonkar, MD, MPH

09.01.2025
© Dr. Jaya Sonkar. All rights reserved. 2025

Back to Square One, but with a Perspective

Back to Square One, but with a Perspective

Q. Does spirituality mean altruism?

A. No.

Q. Does austerity mean denunciation?

A. No.

Q. Does kindness mean it's okay to accept harm?

A. No.

Q. Does letting go mean being insensitive?

A. No.

Q. Does indifference mean ignorance?

A. No.

Q. Is it possible to come back to square one after attaining self-awareness?

A. Yes.

If we stand on a mountain peak with our eyes closed, we are 'there', but 'not really there'.

If we open our eyes, we are there, we are truly present, and we become aware of everything around us.

We can still do everything, live life the same way, do business, pursue education, travel, dance, host parties, but we begin to operate from an enlightened stage. A stage where we are more conscious:

 Of what is there,

 Of what won’t be there,

 Of what’s temporary,

 Of what’s meaningful,

 Of what’s truly important.

It’s like knowing the game of life before playing it.

It’s like making an informed decision.

It’s like opening a third eye.

It’s like being in the same place, doing the same things, returning to square one... but with a perspective.

Let’s come together to explore the inner world, awaken our senses, and step into Spirituality 101. Let’s begin the journey, with meditation.

Meditation Techniques to Get Started

Here are a few simple yet powerful meditation practices that can help cultivate inner awareness and clarity:

Silent Sitting

  Sit quietly in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. Allow your thoughts to pass without resistance. Observe them like a spectator, without judgment or analysis. This helps train your mind to detach and witness rather than react.

Focused Reflection

  It's okay to think deeply about something that truly matters to you. Gently hold that thought and explore it from all angles. This is not overthinking, this is mindful contemplation.

Breath Awareness

  Focus on your breathing. Feel the air move in and out of your nostrils or notice the rise and fall of your chest. Let your breath anchor you to the present moment.

Chanting or Mantra Repetition

  Repeat a word, phrase, or sound, silently or aloud. This could be a spiritual mantra or simply a calming sound like "Om." The rhythm helps center the mind.

Trataka (Candle Gazing)

  In a dark room, stare at the blue part of a candle flame for a few seconds. Then close your eyes and observe the image of the flame within. This enhances concentration and visual focus.

Target Staring

  Choose a fixed point or object and focus on it steadily for a few minutes without blinking. This trains the mind to stay anchored and undistracted.

Singing or Note Practice

  Using your voice as a tool, either by singing, humming, or doing basic note practice, can be incredibly meditative. Sound vibrations affect the mind and body deeply.

Puzzle Solving

  Even solving puzzles can be a form of meditation. When done mindfully, it sharpens focus and brings mental clarity while keeping the mind engaged in a positive challenge.

These practices help you build the ability to focus on what truly matters, while reducing the noise, both external and internal. Over time, they allow you to become more aware of your surroundings, your emotions, and your inner world.

Let’s step into a deeper inside

Which opens into a wider outside.

Dr. Jaya Sonkar MD MPH

8.30.2025

Copyright © 2025 Dr. Jaya Sonkar. All rights reserved.

Pursuit of Chase or Pursuit of Peace

Pursuit of Chase or Pursuit of Peace?

One day, I stepped out onto the balcony of my beach house, felt the sea breeze on my skin, had the most beautiful girl in town inside my home, and a Porsche in my garage. I thought to myself, "This is what I’ve dreamed of all my life."

But now that it was finally here, it didn’t feel any different. It didn’t give me the thrill I had imagined. I still felt like the same child—wondering what more I needed to keep myself amused.

I was still the same inside, unchanged, and uncertain about what to do next.

It was as if everything I had chased all this time wasn’t as amazing as I thought it would be, says Mr. Smith.

I’ve lived an interesting life. Now in my 90s, I come from a hippie culture. I’ve been there, done it all, and I’m still standing. I have children, lost three wives along the way—two to life, and one through separation. And yet, I still feel like there’s something I’m searching for.

Mr. Smith’s story, in a way, resembles many others in one common truth:

Sometimes, it’s the chase we’re chasing—not the goal itself. Our minds crave activity. They thrive in motion. But once we reach the destination, we must learn to cherish the stability while it lasts—because instability will find its way back eventually. When we do arrive at a place of calm, learning to maintain that fragile balance—an unstable equilibrium—with peace, is what fosters true strength.

In our pursuit of a goal, we often miss the journey, too focused on the finish line. But it’s within the journey that the real richness lies—the experiences, the lessons, the growth, and the delicate balance of life that we learn to manage.

Because in the end, stability and peace are what we ultimately seek—to truly rest in peace.

If we’ve done what we set out to do, and reached where we were meant to, we must also learn to remain there—with joy and grace.

Often, we keep setting new goals, and that’s not a bad thing. We want to explore the full extent of our abilities.

But when it comes to wants, there’s wisdom in identifying a point of comfort and choosing not to endlessly increase those desires. That’s where peace and stability are born.

Not craving the next “want” doesn’t mean abandoning growth—it means being content where we are, while still using our potential fully. That balance can lead to both success and serenity.

It’s the path where we encounter new things—flowers, berries, animals, landscapes, people. And it’s the destination that gives us the stillness to reflect on everything the path brought us.

Both the pursuit and the reward matter.

We should remain active and purposeful—but not frantic in our pursuit. Let the next phase come from a peaceful mind, stepping into a new journey with grace. And when we finally reach the summit of the mountain—we must remember to pause, lift our binoculars, and take in the beauty of the path we climbed.

07.14.2025

Dr. Jaya Sonkar MD MPH 

Copyright © 2025 Dr. Jaya Sonkar. All rights reserved.

Life In Cinderella's Shoes

Life in Cinderella's Shoes

If there is a piece of the puzzle, it will only fit the puzzle it belongs to—and the puzzle will be completed only when the last piece has made its way to the puzzle.

An old tale of Cinderella is known by one and all. The customized magical shoes could only fit Cinderella and no one else.

Has it ever felt like some positions keep on vacating until they find the right fit?

Life is just the same. It has to fit in the shoes it belongs to, and the shoes have to find a way for the life to complete.

Whether it is about people in life, a goal, a task, a responsibility, or a role—it will only work when it is the right fit.

If it isn't the right fit, the walk will be painful until you get rid of the misfit.

And if you don't get rid of the misfit, the misfit will tire, wear out, and give up eventually.

One way or another, it will separate if it wasn't meant to be.

So if it ever feels raw—missing a piece of the puzzle—just imagine the magical shoes. It has to fit, or it will never fit.

It's not just about one; it's about one and all—whether they would fit together

Find the best fit, and fit in the best find, and life will become a smooth walk in beautiful Cinderella's shoes!

Dr. Jaya Sonkar

07.12.2025

© 2025 Dr Jaya Sonkar, MD, MPH. All rights reserved.

Nothing To Lose!

Nothing to lose!

There is nothing to lose.

It's true that

There is wealth to lose

It's true that

There is health to lose

It's true that

There is love to lose

It's true that

There is dove to lose

But no one asked

To not maintain this

No one asked to

Abandon these

If we see the process

Of making a sandcastle

Hard work, time, and effort to build

Were phasic joys that give an experience

That effort also

Led to an attachment

But can the sandcastle

Be there forever?

It will mingle with the rest

Sooner or later

What's there today

Won't be tomorrow

But what's there today

May take a new shape

And evolve tomorrow

Where were we 100 years ago?

Where will we be 100 years later?

We don’t know

But clearly, its a journey 

From somewhere unknown

 To somewhere unknown

And whatever we know

Will merge into that unknown

While the present will be lost

The past will be known

And the future will be gained

The wind will blow 

From one place to another

The water will flow

From one place to another

The planets will revolve

Around one sun or another

The vacuum will be there

In the entire space

It's said

Energy is never lost

It only changes from

One form to another

And so will we...

What we can do is

Use the energy

In whichever form it is

In the best possible way

And create

A best possible experience!

While there seems to be

A lot to lose

There actually is

Nothing to lose!!!

Dr. Jaya Sonkar MD MPH

7.2.2025

© Copyright. All rights reserved. Dr. Jaya Sonkar 2025