HUMANISM

HUMANISM

Q.Who are you? 

A. I am a human being.

Q. What is your age?

A. My age is Grown-up. I have completed the wonderful phase of childhood.

Q. What is your gender?

A. My gender is one of the two types.

Q. What is your skin color?
A. My color is skin color.

Q. What is your race?
A. My race is human.

Q. What is your nationality?

A. I am an Earthian, more appropriately a Universian.

Q. What is your caste?

A. I belong to human caste.

Q. What is your religion?

A. My religion is Humanism.

Q. What are your festivals?

A. The occasions that make people feel happy and allow them time to enjoy with their loved ones are my festivals. I enjoy celebrating every festival that I come across, especially if it makes my child happy.

Anyone can celebrate any festival. Festivals are not copyrighted by any belief system. The best festivals are the ones that can bring a smile on the face of children.

Q. Do you believe in God? Who is your God?

A.  I believe in the vastness of the universe which is infinite and undefined. The forces of nature have a tendency to randomize everything and make it fair and square in the eyes of nature.

My God is the undefined vastness and laws of nature who always has its own ways of keeping things in control.

If one likes predictability and likes being in control, one can only try to fool oneself for as long as one can. The biggest truth is that things are random and unpredictable. Yet, the statistics have shown that randomness leads to the normal distribution leading to a standard bell-shaped curve, regardless of the parameters in question. 

Imagine our sizes as compared to the vast universe. Our bodies are so small but our minds are limitless and can wander anywhere.

All of the above questions are very small and meaningless when we look at the vast universe. Imagine the ants fighting with each other to prove superiority when the tsunami or avalanche or earthquake is about to happen.

The important questions that can make a difference are:

Does one have adequate resources to meet the basic necessities? Is one educated?

If someone doesn't have food to eat, clothes to wear, home to save oneself from the extremes of weather or more importantly if one doesn't have enough resources to educate their young ones, the country should treat their children as their own.

It is said that India is a rich country of poor people. India also has great leaders. They say, 'with great powers come great responsibility'. People who have great powers need to take the onus of upliftment of the poor people of India.

I have enjoyed growing up in India and pursuing further studies and career in the US. Both countries are very close to my heart. And as I say this, I have great respect for the other countries of the world. All countries are trying to make good of some part of our universal mother, Mother Earth, who is rotating fearlessly at all times and is saving us from the unseen forces of the vast universe.

The thing that I loved the most about the US is the education system for the children. All children are provided with great opportunities to gain basic education such that when they grow up, they can choose to pursue further studies and can apply for student loans if they need to. There are pros and cons everywhere, However, this system ensures that if someone wants to do more, that someone has been equipped with all the basics to do more. Not only this, they identify the gifted children and challenge them more to bring out the best in them based on their mental or physical capacity.

Imagine, if Einstein or other great scientists didn't have an opportunity to study or innovate, what would the world have been. We wouldn't be living in a world of comfort and luxury that we are living in today. Who knows we may still have been struggling for basic necessities for survival instead of enjoying the luxuries of life. 

There are some selfish and lazy people who try to use lame reasons to prove themselves superior without having real talent. They avoid working while making hard-working people work even harder. History has shown us that people who promoted differences based on religion, race, color, gender, caste, and creed, as well as the people who promoted slavery had their selfish motives to lead the life of luxury at the cost of other people's comfort. History has shown us the miseries caused by the people who killed other people in the name of religion and the people who killed each other over a piece of land without realizing that it is everyone's universal fate to be turned into mere dust eventually.

No religion promotes injustice. No God promotes cruelty. None of the artificial boundaries are the work of nature. It is the price that we pay for being at the top of the animal kingdom. 

Our job as educated people is to identify such foolishness and try to stop it from happening.

One way our future can be better is by promoting education and kindness among all. We are fortunate to be living in the world we have today. We should come together in making it even better or at least stop it from becoming worse.

Let's unite! Let's forget the differences. If there is a soul, it doesn't have any form. The bodies are mundane. The forms can change while the feelings remain. 

Let's follow one religion, Humanism, the religion that promotes kindness and freedom. 

Let's try to raise the level of our country and our world as a whole. 

Let's be humans and follow HUMANISM!

Jaya Sonkar M.D., M.P.H.

5/30/19

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2019

Meet People Where They Are!

Meet People Where They Are!

As I was enjoying listening to the wise men and women at the Annual Geriatric Conference, something penetrated deep into my mind.

It was the phrase, 'We meet people where they are.' It was said in the context of a research grant where it was advised to link the value of the research to the values that the donor had. But the context was not exclusive. This applies universally! The best way to engage with children is to be like one and meet them where they are.

A few months ago, I met a very sweet and homely woman in the park who brought her children to the park to play. We looked at each other and smiled. We greeted each other and introduced our kids to each other. Her warm demeanor made me feel very comfortable. 

I am a quiet person and generally don't have much to talk about if it is not medicine or work-related. Fortunately for me, she was a great communicator and had an enormous treasure of things to tell. She spoke and I listened. I enjoyed listening to her speak about different foods, recipes, different clothes, tailoring techniques, and community parties. She was very kind to invite me to the various religious and community events which I would have loved to attend if my schedule permitted.

Initiating and facilitating conversations that are engaging can be challenging. Meeting people where they are and linking your ideas to their interests may be easier. I found myself being good at that. I enjoy food, appreciate fine clothing and of course am all ears when it comes to parenting techniques. I could relate to the things that she talked and we had a long engaging conversation and became good friends.

I had several other such experiences in the past. They all started coming to me one by one.  Along with the pleasant memories, some unpleasant interactions struck my mind too.

Coming from an emotional background, care and affection is embedded in my DNA. And that is how I look at things. I was able to get along with people who were sensitive to other people's emotions but wasn't very comfortable with the ones who weren't. In life, we have to interact with all sorts of people. And every personality has a value. They all play a role in making the survival of humans possible.

To be able to come to terms with people, we need to understand their deep values and talk to them in terms of those values. Just like the wise researcher said, to submit a grant for a cause that is aimed at improving well being among people, it should also be tied to expected favorable and cost-effective outcomes for the people. This will not only promote understanding among each other but will also lead to a collaborative approach in making a positive difference.

In summary, whether it is to get anybody's buy-in for any cause or it is to make a pleasant conversation with someone, we need to find where they live and then we go there and we meet them where they are. And some of them may come to you and meet you where you are!

Jaya Sonkar M.D., M.P.H.
5/29/19

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2019

New Year& Resolution For All!

New Year's Resolution!

I will not be upset,

I will not be mad

I will not let anyone

Make me sad

There can't ever be enough

Of what one has had

I will expect things

Both good and bad

I will love myself 

As I love others

I will be kind to myself 

As I am to others

I will continue to work hard 

To achieve my goals

I will still wear several hats

And play those roles

I will believe in goodness

I will believe in fortune

I will believe in struggle

And earn my silver spoon

I will help people in need

But not be taken for granted

I will not let any seed

To be wrongly planted

I live in my body

That is my precious place

I live in my mind

Not in outer space

I will keep them pure

I will keep them clean

I will keep them pretty

And lush green

I will keep my conscience clean

And have a pure face

I will not let anything

To dampen the grace

My morals will not be shaken 

My kindness will not be taken

The goodness will prevail

As I will sail, As I will sail

Jaya Sonkar

1/9/19

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2019

Happy New Year!

Every year is born new and every year gets old.

Every year has its life story to be told

Some stories are good and some stories are not

Some memories are good and some memories not

Some experiences teach us a few, and some a lot

What really matters? It is a food for thought

The new year is here again, to be embraced

There are new joys to be shared and new challenges faced.

Let's be ready to open yet another door

And be ready to explore

And challenge ourselves more and more

And see what life has for us in store

Wishing everyone health, wellness, success and more

HAPPY 2019, Let's soar, Let's SOAR!!!

- Jaya Sonkar

6/1/19

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2019

Be true to yourself!

Moment of truth

It will be forgiven, It will be forgotten

By all but self

Be your own Santa, Be your own Elf

Be your own God and let yourself tell

The right and the wrong

To your very self

Because in the end

It is no one else

It is just yourself

It is just yourself

You will be forgiven, you will be forgotten

By all but self

By all but self

When you look in the mirror

Do you bring a smile to yourself 

When you are without a peer

Are you happy with just yourself

Are you able to sleep sound

Are you able to eat well

Is your conscience clean

Is your mind swell

Tell yourself the truth

Before you go to bed

Because in the end

It is no one else

It is just yourself

It is just yourself

It's time to check your own soul

It's time to check your own self

You will be forgiven, you will be forgotten

By all but yourself

By all but yourself

Jaya Sonkar

11.2.18

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2018

Medicine is unique!

https://www.tedmed.com/talks/show?id=528918

Great talk by Dr. Pamela Wible!

After a long day of work, a simple question like how are you, how was your day, is there anything I can help you with or a simple gesture like a warm hug, a pat on the shoulder, the touch of the hands is much more comforting and valuable than anything else. A million-dollar cannot buy one the comfort that these small things can.

Medicine is not about writing a note to submit to the insurance company for billing nor is it about saving the notes as a defense against a potential lawsuit. Medicine is not a matter of the bottom line. There is a difference between a factory and a hospital. What works for Mc Donalds and Burger King may not work for Medicine. Perhaps, its time for the insurance companies to realize that Capitation would not necessarily lead to high standards of healthcare. Instead, it can lead to multiple readmissions and closing of the hospitals. Perhaps capitation is decapitating Medicine itself and the treatments have become mere reflex actions based on algorithms instead of involving critical thinking. If the human body was as simple as machines, it would work perfectly. Fortunately, human beings are not machines, they are very complex human beings. Perhaps we need something else. Perhaps its time to bring the human touch back into the world of Medicine.
Doctors are not and should not be treated like assembly line workers for the sake of humanity. There should be some respect for the super amazing human body and its caretakes should be treated differently and somewhat uniquely.

Medicine is a very unique profession. It indeed bares all the nerves in the process of becoming a doctor. We see the full cycle of life: birth and death in a day. There was a time when the word 'death' was so scary to me that I wouldn't even allow my ears to hear it. Now I see it and don't blink.

One of the recent wellness talks revealed that doctors are the strongest personalities when they start but the system and personal or professional struggle beats them down to a level that they find ending their lives as the easiest solution.

Doctors use every single neuron in their brain for critical thinking, they use every single myocyte for running around day and night to make their patients rest comfortably on their beds, they force their eyes open for their patients to get a sound sleep. They miss their meals to make sure that their patients eat well. Doctors work very hard. After all the hard work, they don't deserve a tragedy in the end. They deserve a happy ending.

It is very hard to understand the struggle unless one is in the same profession, that's why it is even more important to share these Talks. To all those who have a spouse, a relative, a friend, a neighbor or even an acquaintance as a doctor, please be very kind to them, especially when they are post-call. Please do not forget to ask them how was their day, maybe give them that warm hug. Who knows they might just have declared someone dead.

Dr. Pamela Wible has done a beautiful job in spreading awareness. I just felt like sharing her work forward. My heart goes out to all those who have lost their lives. They deserved to live and save lives.
-Jaya Sonkar M.D., M.P.H.
9-28-18

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2018

Let the sunrise of happiness begin!A three by three table of happenings and a step towards happiness!

A three by three table of happenings! - A step towards happiness

Act matters more than the outcome. Intent matters more than the act. And perception matters more than the intent.

Let’s take a small materialistic example,

	Positive Intention	Negative Intention	Unintended act
Positive Perception	Happy   :)	Happy :)	Happy :)
Negative Perception	Sad :(	Sad :(	Sad :(
Proportionate Percerption	Happy :)	Sad :(	Undetermined :|

Person A wanted to gift beautiful clothes that person A really liked, to persons X and Y. Person B bought beautiful clothes for two friends but those friends left, so s/he thought of giving it to person X and Y, so that the clothes could get utilized. Person C also bought the beautiful clothes for persons X and Y with an intention that that clothes are beautiful but persons X and Y will look fat in those clothes.

Person X has a very positive outlook. Person X was happy when s/he got the clothes from Person A, Person B or Person C regardless of the intent behind them. Person X thought that the clothes were very beautiful and if s/he worked out a little, s/he could fit in the clothes. If person X wouldn’t be able to reduce weight, person X would give the clothes away to someone else who would fit in those clothes. Person X would still be happy.

Person Y has a negative perception. Regardless of the intent of the gift giver, person Y thought that because the gift didn’t suit him/her, person A, B and C are all bad and they made person Y sad.

Person X who had a positive outlook doesn’t necessarily was ignorant of the intentions but person X chose to think positive. Even if person X found out the true underlying intentions, person X continued to stay happy. The example above is a very silly example. But there are big things in life that happen. Acts with much higher level of consequences can happen. Circumstances and situations are the best test to identify people who are true and who are not.Its not our job to punish them or reward them. But it is our job to learn from the experience and move a step closer to the reality. Sometimes, incidences in life help us in coming closer to reality. We should embrace such incidences as they teach us to set realistic expectations and not the desired expectations. Person X understood things and got close to reality without actually getting harmed. And person X didn’t let any act affect his/her happiness.

On the other hand, even if Person Y found out or understood the positive and negative intentions behind the act, person Y chose to base his/her feelings on the net result. Person Y is unhappy even with person with the good intentions because person Y fails to understand how could person A be so thoughtless and how could person B be such a utilitarian without being cognizant of other’s feelings. Person Y chose to move away from reality by setting unrealistic expectations and ignoring the truth.

There could be a person Z, who chose to be happy if the intent was good and feel sad if the intent was bad without worrying about the outcome. The loophole is that person Z will need to judge the intent and be judgemental. It’s said, ‘Those who understand, will not judge and those who judge will not understand.’

Person Z may sound reasonable and practical but who will be the judge for judging the judgement of person Z. How would person Z know if the judgement was real or not.

The above example is just to illustrate a small example. It doesn’t apply to unlawful acts. Criminal acts,acts of lying, or immoral acts are more complicated and beyond the scope of the current discussion. In general, unless extremely devastating conditions occur, which have another tangent, most of the happenings in life are mere acts. It’s our mind that can turn it into good or bad leading to happiness or sadness respectively. That being said, it doesn’t mean that one should turn a blind eye towards the reality. Instead, we should improve our understanding and come closer to reality.

If we are unhappy with someone, it is possible that someone is unhappy with us. While we think that our reason is legitimate, someone else might think that their reasoning is legitimate too. People who seem to be good to us can be bad to others and who seem to be bad to us can be good to others. It relative.

The gist is that our happiness depends on ourselves. The world cannot change, the people cannot change but we can change how we perceive things and learn to stay calm and happy. Life is too short. We are a tiny finite speck in the infinite timeline. Whatever seems as big as a mountain will go away with time anyway because eventually we will go away and with us all our experiences and feelings will go away. Then what is the point in carrying the big mountain with us when all it would do is make us feel burdened all the time. Why shouldn’t we remove that big virtual mountain and feel light and rise, rise above the cobweb of complexed feelings into the clear sky. Why not simplify things. Why not have a positive outlook and see the glass half full. Seeing the glass half full doesnt mean that we don’t know it is half empty. Its just about being thankful for having it half full. Why not smile and generate endorphins and stay happy and healthy! Why shouldn’t we reduce the 3 by 3 table into 1 by 1 table of positive perception and happiness.

Jaya Sonkar, M.D., M.P.H.

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2018