Sunday, December 13, 2015

Little Riya and Rosgulla factory

Once upon a time, in the city of Rojapur, there lived a little girl named Riya. She owned a Rosgulla factory. Her Rosgullas were very famous for their big size, softness and sweetness. Everybody wanted Riya’s Rosgullas. Wherever she went, everybody would just say, “We love Rosgullas, Riya’s sweet rosy cheek Rosgullas”. Riya was very good at running the factory. She would always take care that the supply meets demand. She would take special care in gathering good quality raw material for rosgulla production. The raw material vendor, Mommy & Company was very happy as Riya paid lots of smileys to the company in return. It was a steal deal for Mommy & co.
One day a naughty monkey came from a nearby town and told Riya, “Dear, you work so much for the Rosgullas. You deserve some rest. I will take care of the factory for you.” Riya thought that the monkey was right. She had worked very hard to establish the factory and now it’s time for her to relax. So she decided to take some time off.
Riya thought that the monkey will be as good as her in running the factory. How little did she know that the monkey’s intentions were not good. He was sent by an old witch, from the nearby town of Thinfield, who wanted to sabotage Riya’s rosgulla factory. Ever since Riya’s Rosgullas came into vogue, her cake factory became less and less popular. The witch used to attract kids with her cakes and then tricked them into becoming her slaves.
The monkey sent Riya to Sleepville and stopped making rosgullas. The factory workers were being laid off due to lack of work and poor economy. Since Riya was off to Sleepville for her vacation, there weren’t enough smileys to pay the workers. This caused riots and unrest in the nearby town of Stomachville, where the workers resided.
CEO of Mommy & Co., who was friends with Riya, also became worried. The raw material was going waste and the company didn’t get enough smileys for living. One day the CEO decided to go to Stomachville and meet the factory workers.  She asked the workers if it was possible for any of them to go to Riya and tell her what was happening. The workers told her that the monkey was very shrewd. He sent Riya to Sleepville where only selected members, who had a Dream Van, could enter. However, there was a Cheek Postal service that could carry the message for them if they paid her a large box of Riya’s Rosgullas. The CEO reflected for a while and then made a plan. She told the workers that her company will supply the raw material to the workers in the Stomachville, who can then sneak the material in the factory to make rosgullas. They would then send these Rosgullas to Riya in Sleepville via Cheek postal service with a lovely note to return to Rojapur. The workers liked CEO’s idea and did as planned.
Soon they made a large box full of Rosgullas and sent them to Sleepville. When Riya read the note, she became very sad. She left Sleepville immediately and took the next Good Morning train to Rojapur via Thinfield. She punished the monkey and the old witch. Then she reached Rojapur and hugged the CEO. She also distributed lots of smileys to Mommy & Co. and the workers in Stomachville. Everyone in  the city was very happy to have Riya and her Rosgullas back and they all lived happily everafter.
Jaya Sonkar
©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2015

A tribute to my parents!

Dear mom and dad,
How I want to express my gratitude
For the eternal treasure of fond memories
For endless love that you’ve showered on me
But I can’t thank enough.
As I am growing older,
Moving from one place to another,
Going through different phases of life
Stepping into different roles,
I realize what a paradise I had for my childhood.
How I cherished the selfless love,
The moral values you taught and I learned,
Value of truthfulness and honesty,
Loyalty and modesty,
Genuineness and integrity,
Acknowledgement and empathy
Oh!  I can’t thank enough
I remember the nights that you stayed awake
To put me to sleep and bake a cake
And make a pretty dress for my birthday
The nights when you took me to fair
Despite the heavy work day
The nights when you played hide and seek
And when I got tired, lulled me to sleep
The days when you taught me and prepared me for the world
Supported me at each step and pushed me forward
I remember the day
When you soiled your hands to find my pretty earring
And cleaned it and placed it on a rose
I felt so blessed!
Oh! I can’t love enough
Those loving eyes and patient ears
Those lessons you taught had wisdom of years
That soft touch and warm embrace
That solemn, kind and pleasant face
Oh! I can’t respect enough
You never counted the sacrifices you made
The gifts and values that you gave
You always made me feel so precious and deserving
Just silently gave, never expected anything
I haven’t seen anyone loved so much
I am so fortunate to feel your gentle touch
You have the qualities rare to find
The pious soul and beautiful mind
Oh! I can’t feel grateful enough
You spent your youth to nurture me
When I grew up, you set me free
But still stand as my backbone
You still are the tree that gives shade
Oh! I can’t cherish enough
My little secrets are now our special memories
That only lives with you and me
There is a special bond we share
Which grows each day, no matter I go anywhere.
Oh! I can’t feel sad enough
For being so far from you
I wish I could be near all the time
How I miss being in your arms
Away from evil and selfish harms
Away from the liars
And away from the fakers
Oh! I can’t miss enough
Dear mom and dad,
I will be a mother soon
And I’ll have my own little moon
My own little sunshine
My precious boon
I want to pass on the same sweetness
Bless me with the same strength and goodness
So I can raise a sweet new soul
With the same love or even more
So I can give her same trust and strength
That you gave me when I was young
So I can give her a good life ahead
And set my bird free, once she is fed
So I can help her spread her rays
And keep your incense alive always

Your loving daughter,
Dr. Jaya Sonkar
May 17, 2012

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2012



Tummy Talks!!! (Little rhyme for our expected daughter, Riya)

In the little, warm and dark room
With faint light and faint noise
A little angel is cuddled up
In her calm and cool poise

She sleeps soundly on a soft bed
Within the cocoon of gentle love
And mommy wonders, where lies her head
While looking at the stars above

She made her first gentle move
After a few quiet days
A little tough to interpret
And respond to what she says

Soon she learned to speak through kicks
While mommy learned to understand
What her little one strives to speak
Before she enters foreign land

When 4 months old, she gently said
‘Mom, there seems to be an earthquake’
I said, ‘No dear, it’s just a retch
To spill out the hot chocolate shake’

When 5 months old, she gently asked
‘Mom, am I on a thrill ride’
I said, ‘No dear, it’s just a jerk
Caused by a little stiff joint’

When 6 months old, she happily said
‘Mom, it is one of the smoothest days’
I said, ‘Yes dear, it is, indeed,
As sun scatters its brightest rays’

When 7 months old, she meekly asked
‘Mom, is there an acid rain?
I said, ‘No dear, it just feels sour
It will soon pass, won’t happen again’

She said, ‘I see some strange lines
Wherever my little bones reach
Is this some kind of worrisome sign
Or is it just to put me at ease

I find it hard to move around
The space is small even to cuddle
It feels like I am an astronaut
Snugly fit in a space shuttle’

I sighed and thought and then smiled
And said, 'Dear, you are right, indeed,
The lines are there to add more room
For you to sleep, play and feed'

One fine day, she sweetly said,
'Mom, can you take me out to play'
I said, 'Sure dear, me and your dad
Will take you to Wildwoods and Cape May'

Happy she was, to feel the warmth
And see her little bed, full of toys
That mom and dad had gathered with love
To welcome their little bundle of joy

When 8 months old, she softly asked
'Mom, I hear loud breathing sounds
Are you running a marathon?
With your heart, my heart pounds'

I said, 'No dear, it’s just a tiff
That mommy’s lungs and body have
Soon they’ll be good kids
And mommy will pat their back'

She asked, ‘How would it be when I
Step into this world mundane
Would you be happy and content?
Or would you be in a lot of pain'

I said, ‘Oh dear, what should I say
You are such a sweet blessing
The joy we have been waiting for
That dampens all the suffering'

Now at 9 months, she often asks
'Mom, how is the world around
Is it full of awe and wonder,
Bright lights and soothing sounds'

I said, ‘My dear, the world is awesome
There are always changing seasons
The leaves, the snow, the cherry blossoms
There is much to do and lots to learn

Where sun rises and birds fly
Where wind blows and clouds rain
Where flowers bloom under blue sky
And farms are full of sugarcane

All is pretty, all is pleasant
But there is something you should know
No matter where you’re born or trained
You get the fruit of what you sow'

At this, she said, 'that sounds fair
It is a balance of nice and vice.
I am prepared to come out there
And ready to throw my nice dice'

I said, 'My dear, that is so sweet
Your dad and I just can’t wait
To welcome our little sugary tweet
Blessed with lots of goodness traits'!!!

Dr. Jaya Sonkar

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2012



An ode to my brother!

Happy birthday bhaiya!

In the heavens of greatest minds
May your pious and kind soul find 
Eternal happiness, joy and mirth
Beyond the best found on this earth

I close my eyes and see you smile
I close my ears and hear you whisper
I feel the love you send for us
The strength that you send from up above
Your presence is so much felt here
By flashes of the good times that we shared

Just yesterday, as I was playing mandolin
I remembered when I stealthily played your synthesizer
Your birthday gift that you were very fond of,
When you saw me, you gave it to me with love
Encouraged me to play it more and more
And made me feel how proud you were
To see you little sister getting better

I remember when I was playing with your brand new bike
Jumping on it, moving it from side to side
And there it fell with its rear view broken
Filling my eyes with tear and terror
I knew I was going to be punished
And there I lied beneath it sulking
And then you came out from within
Lifted the bike, wiped the tear on my skin
And carried little me in your arms
Soothed me and calmed me and gave me warmth
And gently said, ' Why are you crying' Is it hurting that bad?
I was quiet and happy to see you sound
While your new bike still lied broken on the ground

I remember my first day in school
When at lunch time you came to see me
And took me to the canteen, bought me goodies
See me eat my lunch and carry the cookies
I felt so safe, so protected and cared

I remember you once got angry at me
When you saw little me being scared by the bullies
They snatched my things and left me crying
You taught me the most important lesson that day
How to be brave, strong and safe

I remember when I didn't study for my test
And came to you with my physics book
The book was as new as the day it was bought
You scolded me, then smiled, then gave it a thought
You pointed your fingers at the book
And asked me to read and speak what I understood
You taught me to spot the high yield
And helped me help myself in the field
Your IQ of 160 plus was such a thrill
Amazing and unique were your teaching skills
Dear Bhaiya, that test was the best
I scored in my class, highest

The day you left us and went to the heaven
We were so sad, and so shaken
To not have you around brought so much grief
We lost our minds, soul and sleep

As time went by, the pain just grew
It’s been 10 years, yet it feels so new
How is it there, is it white and bright
Do you have days and do you have nights
Do you have new friends or new sisters there
Who tie Rakhi and say the prayer
Do you see parents and visit them when sad
Do you send your love to mom and dad
Do you scatter energy when we are low
Do you give us strength when we miss you
Can you see us from up above
Can you come near us!

Alas!...We pray!
May God give you the best of the best 
May your soul be blessed with peace and rest
May all the fortune come your way
May all your dreams get fulfilled always

Some strange feelings come to us
The strange feeling that we easily trust
That you are happy and content
That you have progressed in your journey ahead
That beautiful life awaits you
That God of the universe is blessing you
That happiness of the world is at your feet
That your heart is full of love and peace
That you still come to us when we need 
And touch our hearts with your smile, kind and sweet
We somehow know for sure, it is you 
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!


-Dr. Jaya Sonkar
6/09/12
(In memory of my brother, birthday June 17th)

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2012








Life is beautiful !!!

Life is beautiful, if you can take life as it is,
Life is beautiful, if you can see the beauty of it,
Life is beautiful, if you can eat healthy and enjoy the taste of it
Life is beautiful, if you can eat unhealthy and have the health to tolerate it
Life is beautiful, if you can’t hear and feel blessed that you are saved from noise
Life is beautiful, if you can hear someone yell at you and still maintain the poise
Life is beautiful, if you are blind and feel good that you are saved from watching violence
Life is beautiful, if you see something horrendous, yet do not lose your senses
Life is beautiful, if you can be obese and feel lucky to be able to afford it
Life is beautiful, if you are thin and believe that you’ve dumped morbid diseases in a pit
Life is beautiful, if someone tries to hurt you and you can forgive as you would, a baby
Life is beautiful, if you can see all shades of blues, light, dark or navy
Life is beautiful, if someone sins and you can see the stress he is under
Life is beautiful, if you can cheer him up and make him realize his blunder
Life is beautiful, if someone is being unreasonable but you can find the reason
Life is beautiful, if you can help him make amends for the treason
Life is beautiful, if you can see your own shortcomings
And laugh at them and say, ‘there’s always a next time’!
Life is beautiful, if someone loses sanity while you have yours
Life is beautiful, if you have sympathy with the sufferer and help him find the cure
Life is beautiful, if you are stressed and feel blessed that you have the strength to handle it
Life is beautiful, if you have a tiny boat in the stormy ocean and you know how to paddle it
Life is beautiful, if you can take an exam like a video game and see if you can beat the highest score
Life is beautiful, if you can enjoy each little thing, like you’ve never seen it before
Life is beautiful, if you can take life as it is,
Life is beautiful, if you can see the beauty of it,
Life is beautiful, if you can let go,
Life is beautiful, if knowing all, you can still enjoy the show!!!

Jaya Sonkar
2/4/2014

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2014

A step into understanding the inevitable universal future!

"Maut se kiski yaari hai, aj humari to kal tumhari baari hai".
Help me! Help me! moved the struggling lips of my patient (I will call him Mr Johnathon in my story).
While rounding on the patients in the ICU, my senior got a call from the Emergency room for an ICU evaluation for a patient with Stage 4 Prostate cancer and cholangiocarcinoma who recently became short of breath and was intubated in the ER.
When we went down to the ER, we found an elderly man lying on the stretcher, intubated, unable to speak. After gathering his history from the nursing home records, I went back to the patient to examine him. He was in distress and was struggling to make some gestures and moved his lips. As I could read them, they said Help me! help me!
I held his hand and asked him, what can I do for you? He moved his lips again. This time it looked like he was saying 'phone'. I asked him if we wanted me to call someone. He nodded his head. I asked him if he would like me to call his family. He nodded again but this time from side to side. I wasn't sure of what he was trying to say but I reassured him that I will try my best to inform his people.
I called the nursing home and his primary care doctor and found out that he had no family and was alone. I felt a little helpless in being unable to help the old guy.
We did the needful for Mr Jonathon and got him transferred to the ICU in the shortest possible time to provide him with critical life support. Several times I went to his room. His eyes spoke volumes to me but in a language that I could not understand. It was French to my eyes but I knew they were crying out loud for help. I would hold his hand and pat him on his shoulder but felt helpless that I couldnt do anything more for him.
My shift got over and I went back home. Returned next morning. Happy to learn that Mr Johnathon improved and was planned for extubation. He sounded much relieved after extubation. His voice was vibrant this time. I asked him about his family. He said he was the last descendant and his wife passed away 10 years back. I asked him what was it that he was asking for last night. He said that he wanted to speak with his primary care doctor. It turned out that he had requested a DNR/DNI and didn't want to be intubated. He said, 'don't ever do that to me again'. My senior and I reassured him that we will honor his wish. He looked fine thereafter, humming to himself, ate some food and rested thereafter while we rounded on other patients.
Soon after, the same evening, the patient started desaturating, He was DNI and he also refused mask for ventilation. We felt helpless for him and explained him that if he denies respiratory support, this could be the end. He closed his eyes, prayed to Jesus and softly uttered, 'Let me go...'
There was a moment of silence. We looked at each other, speechless. Respiratory tech put the pt on High flow oxygen and we gave him morphine for comfort.
We thought that this was it. He is probably not going to wake up again but to our surprise, he did and again with full spirit. For some reason, I was getting very anxious because so far I had seen the demented patients go but he was the first one who was fully in his senses with a great sense of humor, waiting for the time to come. I don't know if I was comforting him or myself but I went to him again, smiled at him and asked him how was he feeling. He nodded and winked and showed me 6 fingers to rate his pain followed by a thumbs up. We smiled. He asked for some ice and water. I gave him. Then there was a long pause.
To break the silence, I casually asked him what were his hobbies. He said, he loved painting and cooking. He smiled back. Then he said, "I have never discussed this earlier. My wife passed away 10 yrs back. I have been sick in the past and during one of those times , I had this experience. I saw a very beautiful white light and there she was standing in very beautiful white and blue. A white that was such a beautiful white that I could not make it with my colors. A blue that was so beautiful that my colors could not paint. I tried hard painting the picture but could not. I saw my wife again in the same white and blue. She was holding my hand, Then she went to the other side of the door and I came back. But I know there is a wonderful life waiting for me. My wife is waiting for me. We are going to unite again in a very beautiful world. I am no longer afraid of dying. I am so ready to go. I am so ready to meet her again." Then he closed his eyes. There was a very calm smile on his face.
He started humming again. Then he spoke about this apple pie that he made with his wife. He said they no longer make them in the restaurants any more. He said, 'If you want it, you gotta make it on your own.' As if he really cared about that apple pie. I asked him if I he wanted to eat something. He said , 'No, I don't feel like eating anything...You are an angel.' Then he told me that he hadn't slept in many days and was feeling really good after getting a good deep sleep. Don't know why but my eyes were brimming with water and as I was struggling not to blink to contain it in my eyes, he said, 'I am no longer afraid of dying. A very beautiful life is waiting for me. Then he closed his eyes.' I didn't know who was comforting whom.
I asked him to let me know if he needed anything and came out of the room, still hoping for him to survive.
Everytime, I see a patient dying, I feel this strong urge to save him forever. If only, we could save everybody forever. But the truth is that everything that has a beginning, has an end. Everyone who has a birthday will also have death day. I will also go one day. My loved ones will too. Everybody will!
The roads that we walk today, had been walked by a complete different set of people, who are not there any more. Yesterday, our ancestors were running the world and tomorrow our descendants will. . . There is an end to every existence.. Then what is the purpose of life. Are we born to create the castles, bridges, invent electricity,robots, find cure for diseases? Or, are we born for something more meaningful. Are we born for an experience. An experience of love and fulfilment. What matters more!
I read a book recently, 'Only Love is real' by Dr Brian Weiss. It makes more sense to me now when I saw my patient lying on the deathbed with a gratifying smile. He had lived a very loved life and was ready to leave this world with a bag full of experience, learnings, wisdom and love that prepared him for marching towards a new mysterious existence with his loved ones. He had no fear because his love overpowered his death. Could money, fame or power get him the gratification he needed for an easy transition from one life to the other. May be not. But his love did. He indeed has a life beyond our mundane existence. A life of gratification, serenity, calmness and love!
The answer probably lies in finding our ownselves. Finding our utmost desires for which we came to this world. Every soul has its own goals. Gratification could come from any act as long as it is the deepest desire your soul wants to fulfil or your senses want to enjoy. It could come from being a doctor and treating the patients, it could come from painting the most beautiful scenes in the world or building megastructures on earth, It could come from travelling the world and enjoying the nature, eating the most delicious food in the world, wearing the beautiful dresses and enjoying the soft touch to the skin, it could come from meditating and exploring our minds or it could come from enjoying our sleep and then waking up fresh. It could be found in taking care of the parents who raised us, or raising our own kids into successful parents or it could be found in finding our soulmate and having a cup of coffee with him/her everyday over meaningful discussion. What really matters is 'Peace with your own soul' and that's the key to salvation that completes the journey of life.
I will end this discussion here as I begin my journey to explore what i came to this world for. Wish thee well!
-Jaya Sonkar

©All rights reserved. Jaya Sonkar 2015