I am above 90. I have lived my life fully and I am not afraid of going but my husband is.
He worries too much about me. I am not afraid of dying. I think, I have had a beautiful life and have reached the age where very few people reach. I feel ready to go.
It just hurts a lot but I don't feel much bothered by it somehow...
My grandson told me that he wants to stay in the house after I go. He is very attached to me. I have to make sure that I write it in his name. Other than that, I don't have anything else to do. I don't want too many medicines."
"Dear Ms Smith,
You are a wonderful person.
I am going to take care of you to the best of my capacity and will try to keep you as painless as possible."
Mrs Smith seems to be liberated. But she was bonded at one point in time. She had the bondage with her surroundings and her family. She created lives and then raised them, then raised the lives that emerged from the lives that she had generated.
She nurtured the family tree and now she wants to become the water and reach every leaf and evaporate from the surface into the vast space.
Space is so vast. Numerous galaxies exist in space. Numerous solar systems. Numerous suns and numerous planets revolving around that sun!
Such heavenly bodies and they are all in bondage.
The level of bondage changes though.
Some bonds results in coming together to form a planet, some bonds are lighter and they form the solar system. Even lighter bonds form a galaxy , and thereafter they exist in intergalactic space and then infinity.
When the strong bonds are also versatile, a planet like earth is formed where particles come close together and create an environment conducive to life.
When there are all levels of adequate bondages to make room for earth, water and air, it creates life.
Apparently, in order to create and raise a life, a bondage is needed.
Once the life is created and raised, the liberation comes.
Though, it is still going to remain in the same space and it has its own trajectory.
The space can be infinite. Yes, it will have to remain in that infinite space. Liberated yet bonded.
No matter how bound, some level of liberation is there.
No matter how liberated, some level of bondage remains.
It is when all the tasks are done, the feeling of "I am done" comes. When one has played one's role completely and has given all efforts, the immense feeling of joy and satisfaction come and at that moment, the next moment doesn't matter because all the timed things are done. Now, whatever is left is limitless, timeless and liberated.
Ms Smith became the earth, she grew lots of fruits, created many ways, she made sure that the plants and animals take care of this earth and now she wants to disembody and liberate and yet stay bonded in that infinite yet finite space.
She said that she feels ready to go. Does she know where will she go and what makes her so calm.
She seems to have immense wisdom. Her memory may be impaired. She may have had some hallucinations, but she was aware of every loss of memory and every hallucination.
It seems like part of her 'who is totally with it' is disembodied and the remaining part is waiting to be liberated and yet is bonded to her body. Her other part seems to be somewhere, where she is ageless, timeless and limitless. Yet very limited and confined to the same vast infinite space.
Time will pass by very quickly. Before we know the bonds will change, the liberation will come. Ms Smith did it right. She enjoyed the bondage when that was the right thing to perpetuate life and then she fulfilled her purpose and liberated and there she floats away.....in the same space but free!
Liberation follows bondage and bondage comes with liberation. It's a free fall but it is falling somewhere!
Jaya Sonkar MD MPH
4.25.2022
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